Congrats. Even possums do that.

Today, I heard something that really sparked my engine up. Lecrae, a Christian rap artist, put this on instagram.

" Food on the table and roof over your head is a ridiculously low bar for fathers. Congrats. Even possums do that." -John Bryson

Now, I am not one to enjoy degrading men by comparing them to animals, but this was just so true for my own life and so many children in the world. I could sit here and tell you statistics of what usually happens to kids when they are abandoned by their father, but I am sure that most people know the facts.
It's detrimental on the mother for many reasons. She does not have emotional support, in many situations she is without financial support, and is not being lead by a man in a spiritual way. What can happen to the child is not easily described. There are so many problems that have stemmed from a fatherless home.

When I say "Fatherless" home, I mean a household where the father is not present. He could physically be around, but that doesn't necessarily mean "present". I think that this situation is where the quote is stemming from. Granted, it is better for the father to be around in some type of way than not at all....but it's still pretty unfortunate. The technology generation has only made this worse. Everyone can be in the same room and still not be present. I am talking about dads who spend one on one time with their kids. Engage in conversation with them. Sit at the table with them. Praying with them. Going on walks.....just being there. Present. Totally present in the moment. Making eye contact. It's such a beautiful thing.

There are plenty of situations where the mother has abandoned the child and the father is present, but it did not turn out that way in my personal life, so I am not able to relate to that as well. Therefore, I will not pretend to. I will just write about what I know today.

I grew up in a fatherless home for the most part. My mom worked several jobs to take care of us, and while she did start receiving financial support after a while, we still rarely saw our father. He was the type of dad that popped in and out here and there every few years and we went crazy to see him. He came in and sometimes would give us a few bucks to buy some candy and we thought he hung the moon in the sky. Or he randomly would send us a Barbie doll in the mail for Christmas and we would rant and rave to our mom about how he is the best, and it was our favorite Barbie of all time. As I grew older and much wiser, I would refer to him as the Fairy God father coming in and sprinkling a few bits of happiness before leaving us again for a while. My very hard working mom had to put up with this over my entire childhood. She does not receive near enough credit for her courage.

Since then, he has been a little more involved and is aware that he made some mistakes in his past. He has started going to church and is learning so much about Christianity. It's awesome to see him grow. I do miss him and wish he were around more. Sometimes, I dwell on things that I missed out on. Things that the enemy tries to use against me to start building the grudges back up against him. I am sure this happens with lots of families. Like, not having a dad at any sports events, tell you that you need to change your oil often, or having anyone around to teach you to ride a bike. Especially things like father daughter dances, going on dates, and having someone to walk you down the aisle on your wedding day. These are little things that have effected my life as a girl who missed her daddy, but I am sure it's equally or more detrimental for boys without dads.

God got a hold of my life and changed things around a bit for me when I was a teenager. He put some really awesome men in my life that were able to change my mind around a bit about what a father looks like. I saw some men at church who drove 3 hours round trip to work each day, came home and ate dinner with the family, only to rush outside to play catch with his 5 children almost everyday. Men who kissed their wives everyday and protected them. Men who loved hanging out with other dads and growing in fatherhood. I saw men who thought being a dad was cool for the first time in my life. They love coaching their kid's teams He even sent me a special man in my life who told me things about vehicles and how to drive on the snow to protect me. He changed my oil and even took me into his household to live there when I had no place else to go. Men who loved God and demonstrated fatherhood. I honestly still believe with all of my heart that God wants me to view Him as my father and pursues my heart daily. He wants what is best for me in all aspects of my life. That is the most beautiful fatherhood of all.

I say all of these things to prove a point, not just dig into my past. How did we get to be this generation that gives up so easy? That leaves their kids to be raised by someone else?  Most guys are bad fathers because their fathers were not around to teach them how to be a good one. Then they do the very thing that has broken their heart in their childhood to their own kids. This generational curse has to end. It's disgusting, pathetic, and fixable.

I honestly believe that God wants what is best for us because he knows the repercussions ofwhat could happen if we give into our desires...such as have sex outside of a very committed relationship. I personally believe God wants us to wait until marriage to even further that commitment before having sex. When you have sex, there is a very large possibility that you will become a parent, so you need to be aware of that.

How does this end? How do boys that were abandoned learn from their father's mistakes? How do girls with absent mothers grow up to be a good mommy? It takes a man to really realize that someone has to break the curse. It takes a girl to gain the confidence in herself to know that she is worth more than her weight in gold. To know that she is loved, cherished, and adored, even when she isn't told by her earthly father.

You see, if a girl realizes this, she could change everything. She could realize she is so precious and she will wait to have sex with a guy that really cherishes her.....(not just guy who gives her attention for the evening and then she gets pregnant by him leaving her abandoned with a baby.) She will have higher standards for her selection of guys. If a guy realizes that he wants to teach his son to have integrity and a good character like he maybe missed out on with his father, then he can decide to make it happen. It's just a decision. A goal....having a purpose.

Parents rejoice when their children turn out well;
    wise children become proud parents.
Proverbs 23:24

Kristina Marie

If I had to describe my youngest sister in one word, it would be hard. No, I don't mean difficult to express, I mean the actual word hard. She is hard. She plays hard, works hard, and her heart is hard. She is probably the toughest person I know. If someone wronged her, she will make sure they don't ever do it again. She has been known to win her fair share of fist fights, beat up a few boys, and intimidate the daylights out of her peers. Heck, she has even beat me up once or twice. We are talking about a girl who stole my car when she was 13 at 2 am to drive her friends 10 miles to Hardees to get food!!!! She is hard. But, she is my baby sister. She is the baby of all my siblings and was always babied as a kid. How did she become such a resilient girl? I will tell you this. She comes to visit me more and always has than any other family member I have. She also comes to visit everyone in her family often, near or far. She is always thinking of others. She loves to surprise people and buy them gifts. She has a gigantic heart and it's filled with hidden emotions that she rarely leaks out. Her and my mother have always had this whimsical relationship that I have envied most of my childhood. My mom just has so much trust in her and lets her in on all her secrets, joys, and regrets. Nena just has so much wisdom behind her eyes, like she has witnessed so much more than anyone knows. She has faced with situations that I wish so badly she would have never came encounter with. But all in all, it has made her compassionate, smart, and hard.

                  A few years ago, she met a guy that she thought was pretty crazy about, but I cannot say that I agreed. She got pregnant by him and she was scared. Scared to death. She was so vulnerable, an emotion she rarely led on about. I couldn't help but pray my heart out for her and just reassure her that everything is fine. Actually, better than fine. She was going to have a baby! Babies are the best!!!!!!! She quickly changed her demeanor and starting preparing for this baby girl. This guy had 2 other girls from a previous relationship and my sister took such fantastic care of them. She loved them so much and did so many fun things with them. She did their laundry and helped with homework, even when they were at their mom's. I knew she was going to rock at mommy hood.

                                  And she does.

She is in a tough situation right now with her school, employment, and housing. She is surrounded by things she dislikes and are actually harming her. She has expressed to me that she wants to move to Centralia and get a job. This news is an answer to prayer and overfills my cup with joy. I am now on a journey to help her find a place to live, work, and help her find fulfillment. I am just praying and seeking God's face in all of this so I can assist her in making the best decisions for her family's future.

Did I mention that she makes some beautiful kids?


So, this is my prayer for her. I am showering her with this as she stays with Bryce and I are in our tiny apartment for a few days.

Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you. -1 Peter 5:7 

God CARES for her. He is crazy about her. The beautiful thing is that I am crazy about her too, and not just because she is my baby sis and one of my best friends. It's also because God has given me his heart for her and shown me his desires for her heart. He wants so much more for her than what she allows herself to have. She is making life too hard.

                                                          Love Wins.

It's Tradition

Last night, Bryce and I did one of our very favorite things to do in the world! It's a tradition in October now in the Foltz household that we always carve pumpkins. It started when we had just gotten married and we came home and carved pumpkins right after our honeymoon. Bryce had never carved pumpkins before, so it took some convincing that it wasn't a childish activity. My family was very adament on carving every year and took a great amount of pride in it. Needless to say, I was shocked that he had never experienced it. I am happy to say that our little family of 2 started our tradition three years ago and it is still going strong. We both get so giddy when fall comes and especially when Aldi has their pumpkins on sale! Woop, Woop!!! That means we can carve several times and it's not that pricey! Wayy cheaper than going to the movies for a date night! Bryce was feeling very festive last night and turned our date into a party by getting some sparkling cidar. It was soooooo delish!

Here are some pictures of our first pumpkin-travaganza in 2009

  His first time carving. Concentration!!

Here we are last night!

Princess Tiana kissing her frog. I did her because my babies at the orphanage LOVE her!

Bryce chose a classic

                                                          headless horseman!

Told you he loves it.

A fine celebration.

                                                               This cidar is so legit.

Here are both of ours together.

I love family traditions. They are the best! I look forward to making many more with this handsome guy and our future babies. I am a firm believer in doing everything for the kingdom, and that kingdom work begins in the home! God is good.

But as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.  Joshua 24:15

3 Years of Mawage (Princess Bride reference, anyone?)

            Yesterday marked 3 long, difficult, wonderful, joy filled years that Bryce and I have been married. God has taken us through a whirlwind of learning experiences over time, but the best part was that we were together. When God said that it is not good for man to be alone, I truly have an understanding for that now. Even when we were fighting, we were together. (Of course, we rarely fight though ;-) ha!!) When we had something fun we wanted to try, we did it together. When we had a bad day and wanted someone to vent to, we were there for each other. I honestly feel one of the best parts of marriage is the fact that we are rarely ever alone...Just the way God intended it. Our friendship has grown and developed so much and it is such an exciting thing to be a part of! Bryce can make me laugh like nobody else, and provides a need for me that is huge......a best friend! Aside from Christ, it's the most important relationship that I will ever have. That relationship does not develop without energy and time. It is something that we both feel is worth investing plenty of time into in order for it to blossom and God can use our marriage to the full potential that it has.

                                                   There have been a few new things going on in the Foltz household this year. We helped launch a church called City Hope.  It has been one of the biggest blessings so far that we have encountered in our marriage. It has also been one of the most difficult. Just being in ministry in general and learning all the ins and outs of leading is a growing process. We've made mistakes and learned from them. It is just wonderful to be a part of leading ministry together. It has truly given us an opportunity to look to Christ for everything. We also instilled a very strict Friday night date night policy together so we can make sure to put our personal ministry to each other first. We have made a minimal cell phone use rule during that time. It pretty much rocks. We take turns each week on planning for each other. We are loving it and loving life. City Hope is a church full of young families and it is growing in size every week! It's a wonderful thing to see God move in so many broken lives. Bryce and I have a big heart for the youth of this city of Centralia. We love them and look forward to the next year with them!

       

                  

                                              We have also endured a hardship of being a part for almost a month with only being able to communicate once. This passed summer, I went to Africa to work at an orphanage while he stayed home to work and lead youth. It was the most awesome experience for me and pretty hard for him. He was so sweet and thoughtful while I was gone and found us a new apartment AND moved us in to surprise me! Now, he has to deal with me being obsessed with the kids there and wanting to adopt several of them. He has to listen to me talk about them day and night.....What a good guy. Best part of it is he cannot wait to meet them either. This is a screen shot of the first thing I saw while I waited for the plane to unload when I opened up facebook. A few tears were shed....I cannot lie.

There are many new things going on in our life, but I don't want to bore you with all of our gushy life details....HA!

For the next year, I have several things to focus on in our marriage.

I want to be an encourager to Bryce, always.

I want to stop and think before I nag about something if it's really worth it.

I want to serve him wholeheartedly without expectation of being served in return.

I want to work on our health...mentally, physically, and spiritually

I want our family to be more disciplined in every aspect.

I want to finish both of our associates degrees this year.

I want to have more fun, more laughs, more adventures.

I want to honor Christ and honor Bryce.

I want him to know that his dreams are my dreams and what makes him happy makes me happy.

I want to be more present in our time together..ie, less phones-more cuddling.

Here are some pictures to reminisce on.....

Here we are when we just started dating. Young pups.

Wedding time! 

 Here is Mr. Foltz telling me his personal written vows. They were the BEST!

Our celebratory anniversary date last night