Deserts into gardens

          It has been a few months since my last post on any of my blogs. I wanted so badly to write, create, be inspired, and express myself in the ways that I love doing, but just couldn't. I just absolutely couldn't. My head has been swirling around with all sorts of thoughts and it has become so overwhelming that I myself can hardly handle it, let alone trying to explain it to others. God has really been moving in my heart, as usual, and I can feel Him all around me. He has big plans, so of course, there are things I need to work on to allow that to happen.
             Some of the newest things that have been going in my life are personal and things going on with other friends. Fortunately and unfortunately at the same time, God has given me a spirit of compassion for the people I care about to deeply feel the things they are feeling. Two of my very closest friends are going through a painful separation that they feel is leading to a divorce. Ahh, the heartbreak. It's just plain awful and I can't stop thinking about them. I also had some serious things happen to my family over the Holidays. My mom had to make the difficult decision to remove my grandpa from life support. It was a very special circumstance that made it even more particularly hard for the family. This has caused me a great deal of anxiety and I have started going back to therapy, which I believe is a great thing. I honestly think that everyone would benefit from having a counselor. They are so helpful, even just with everyday problems! I also have been dealing with a lot of emotions that are not pretty by stuffing them down and being ashamed. This is not right, and it is not helping. I have bitterness in my heart about regrets, people who have wronged me, ministry, and marriage.
               Anyway, looking forward I can see light. I can see dawn breaking and God's goodness. I can't get enough of my two favorite Waterdeep songs that can pretty much describe my feelings to a T lately. I know that God has good plans for me, my friends, my marriage, and my spirit.

You have redeemed my soul
From the pit of emptiness
You have redeemed my soul
From death

I was a hungry child
A dried up river
I was a burned out forest
And no one could do anything for me
But You put food in my body
And water in my dried bed
And to my blackened branches
You brought the springtime
Green of new life
And nothing is impossible for You

I love every single line of that song. It just about redemption and all the glory goes to the good One. If it were not for Him, my friend and comforter, I would be so empty, bitter, hard.....ugly.

(You have whispered these things to me)
You have caused flowers to grow in my fields And you have brought bright colours to my head And you have caused a cool wind to blow underneath my window sill

And I rest here underneath your hand

You made all my deserts into gardens 

You made all my ashes into beauty

 I don't know where I'd be if I had not met you

 I was a broken man when you found me

 

I became alive.

My heart resonates with David and his writings in Psalms when he cries out for God's presence and saving.
Psalm 141
O Lord, I am calling to you. Please hurry!

Listen when I cry to you for help!

Accept my prayer as incense offered to you,

and my upraised hands as an evening offering.

Take control of what I say, O Lord,

and guard my lips.

Don’t let me drift toward evil

or take part in acts of wickedness.